The sick deer

When I was a little boy some 60 years ago, one of my good teachers wanted a hand written page from every student in class every day. This was for improving penmanship (this applies to both males and females).

Being lazy I wrote the same passage every day from my favorite story book. After writing the same thing over and over every day I found that the teacher did not cared less about what I wrote. The only thing he cared about was penmanship.

After writing the same passage over and over I found that I could write the passage without having to look at the book anymore. I had unintentionally memorized the passage.  I got used to writing it within 5 minutes after getting ready to go to school.

Now coming to the rest of the story:

The passage was about a sick deer.  I never figured why I selected that passage for my penmanship.

The friends of the sick deer having heard about its sickness started visiting it almost daily. The sick deer (I guess it did not have a wife) treated them with food that he had collected for a rainy day. Finally the deer died.

After the post mortem it was found that the deer died not because of any illness, but due to lack of food.

The punch line in Sinhala goes like this (antimedee muva male asaneepayen nova aahara  hinga kameni )

Morale of the story:
1. Don’t eat from the sick person’s food collection when you visit the sick.
2. Take some healthy food to the sick person if and when you visit a sick person.
3. It is ok to write the same passage to improve the penmanship, but select a passage that will haunt you through the rest of your life!!! The sick deer still haunts me after 60 years….

Written on 08/01/09

 

An Emerging Asian Marriage Model in the Western World.

 

Introduction:

 Unlike the earliest known navigators who wanted to discover the other parts of the world or those adventurers who were interested in capturing other lands, most immigrants today come to settle down in the developed part of the world mainly as fortune seekers seeking for a better life for themselves and for their children. Although some of these people may have had a good life in the countries where they came from they probably wanted more and saw better opportunities in the developed part of the world. Those who were exposed to the developed world while they attended college or who had the opportunity to travel abroad for training or commerce saw this advantage.

The hardworking immigrants from South Asia  who grew up in the traditional world in which their parents were extremely religious and had strong moral and ethical values that they guarded as sacred as their own life naturally had great fears regarding the life style their children would adopt growing up in the "split culture" of the new world in which they socialize to be adults. This is one of the most important reasons for the elaborate and expensive wedding ceremonies that have become an important part of the family life of affluent immigrants of the developed world, the theme of this article. The other reason as to why they are tempted to spend an enormous amount of money on a pompous wedding ceremony is the hope that their children will be part of their life even after they separate themselves from the parental family. This stems from a realization that the children who are socialized in the developed and capitalistic world tend to be relatively selfish, self-centered, and independent unlike in the Asian countries where family ties tend to be more important than self interest.

The Theme:

For those who are familiar with the South Asian life style growing up in India, Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh or Sri Lanka, it is needless to say that their family is larger than their life for most people living there. The marriages between men and women are not so much marriages between individuals but primarily bonds between families that are united between members of the families, clans as well as tribes that make up those communities. Marriages outside the caste, clan, race or nationality are always negatively viewed by the members of such communities. Consequently, those individuals in such communities entering into marriages on their own due to mutual love and affection mostly based on physical attraction as well as social status need to be prepared to be living on their own and not having much to do with their extended families. This is because such marriages in some cases result in insurmountable barriers between caste, religions, language, cultural and life-style issues and affiliations, of the marrying individuals and in some cases lead to excommunication from their parental families, castes and clans.

The marriage rituals of the above mentioned communities are closely tied up with horoscope matching done by astrologers, rituals done by Hindu priests during auspicious moments, and elaborate religious ceremonies based on superstitious beliefs of the people who perform these ceremonies. Such elaborate marriage ceremonies sometimes extend over several days, weeks or months.  The origins of such rituals can be traced back to Rig Vedic culture that permeated throughout the social system of south and south-east Asian countries beginning from 2000 B.C.; they have been perpetuated for thousands of years by most people even to this day.

The details that follow of the emerging Asian marriages in the developed world given below in the rest of this article and analyzed against the back drop of the split culture within which the Asian immigrants that continue to flourish alluded to in the introduction are no doubt attempts on the part of at least the affluent Asian immigrants to perpetuate the traditional family system that they very much like to preserve in the developed world as well.

Marriage Customs of Affluent Asian Immigrants in the Developed World:

Marriage between a young man and a young woman who were brought up by their relative parents in separate families spending the most productive and valuable part of their life leading to the moving away of their children from home by marriage, could present a traumatic experience for most Asian immigrant parents. In most primitive cultures in ancient Asia marriage between a man and a woman is not always viewed favorably. In the eyes of the young woman’s parents, it is a disruption in their family life when young woman who is a part of the family is “violently taken away” by a strange young man. In the case of matriarchal societies, the reverse happens; a young man who grew up within a family and a productive member of the family is violently taken away at the prime of his life by an outside family of the female partner. After marrying the young woman, the young man goes to live with the woman’s family. While in patriarchal communities the man inherits the family property, it was the other way around in matriarchal communities. Although the newly married young people do not live with their parents anymore in the present day society, there is a tendency for the parents to move closer to their children in their old age depending on the strength of family bonds of the respective parental families with their married children.

Love marriages between young men and women are not only discouraged but tabooed in traditional societies in which the consent of the parents and elders is critical for a marriage to take place between a young man and a young woman who belonged to two previously unknown families. The consent of the respective parents for marriage between a young man and a young woman mostly depended on their ability to agree upon a list of important criteria the family hold sacred among which the matching of the horoscope and the social status of the respective families are primary considerations. Although the mutual liking of the man and woman count a great deal in order that a marriage could take place between the two families, most other criteria tend to play a more significant role in the final agreement for marriage between two families. Most wealthy parents of young women therefore make all the efforts to ensure that the young man who is going to marry their daughter is from a family of similar social status with an unblemished character and is capable of supporting their daughter as her husband. The dowry system still prevailing in most Asian societies is evidence of the type of guarantee relating to family unions forged on economic bonds between marrying families. The wealthy parents tend to throw a grandiose wedding for their daughters in the presence of all their relatives. Most of the time the dowry money given by the bride's parents to the bridegroom's parents tend to be lavishly spend on such pompous wedding ceremonies.

The situation is somewhat different however, when it comes to marriages between young men and women of the immigrant Asian families in the developed world. The children of these families grow up in a "spilt culture" in which the parental value system is at loggerheads with the prevailing social and marriage customs in the developed world. Such children grow up in a society where on the one hand marriages are on the decline homo-sexual and lesbian marriages are more or less becoming legal on the other. While the divorce rate is on the rise, the opportunity for young men and women to live as significant others is on the rise as well. The affluent immigrant parent’s response to these challenges seems one of compromise between their good old values that they hold dearly in their hearts and the value system of the society in which their children are educated and socialized.

The social and geographical proximity of the communities within which the family system bonded and co-existed is not available in the land in which the immigrants are settled in the lands of the developed world. Even in some cases in which some family members live some 1000s of miles away, maintaining the family ties on a constant and ongoing basis presents enormous challenges to the immigrants unlike in the countries from  where they originally came from. However, the urge for re-creating the same family bonds, sentiments, and values at least during the time of the marriage of their loved ones seems to be so strong, important and urgent.  Therefore these newly affluent families stop at nothing to have grandiose marriage ceremonies with all the good old rituals performed by Hindu priests in front of large audiences of family members, relatives, acquaintances and close friends. When the number of invitees reaches over 500 depending on the money both families could afford for the wedding ceremony, holiday resorts provide the ideal venue with all residence, ball-room and most other facilities including opportunities for recreational activities for those who could afford to combine the wedding participation and a pleasurable vacation in a resort.

A typical marriage ceremony in which the author participated went on for three full days in such a luxurious golf resort. There were three generations of family members from at least the bride's side of the family and about 300- 400 close relatives, acquaintances, friends etc from India, England, Canada, and most states of the U.S. who participated in the marriage ceremony. Those attending the wedding stayed in the resort all three days. The rumor had it that the wedding cost the two families approximately $150,000. The bands, Hindu priests, professional photographers, Indian food caterers, the horse driven chariots, and the exclusive use of the fabulous ball rooms of the resort that were decorated in Indian style as well as formal wedding attires worn by most family members of both the bride and bridegrooms families, made it an out-of-the-world or one-in-a-million type of wedding. It was, in short a very extraordinary and spectacular event. One of the attendees told the author that he attended one of these weddings in the east coast of America where it costs twice as much for the bride’s father. Another one from Canada told about a rich father of a bride having her wedding ceremony on a ship for several days spending a fortune on that wedding. Such wedding customs are still around; one needs to participate in them to believe it.

In Preparation for the wedding:

The family members of both the bride and the groom started pouring into the resort two days before the wedding day. They checked into various living quarters scattered all over the large wooded area of the vacation resort. This was, as it were,  a virtual recreation of the village of the bride into which the bride groom will be arriving on the wedding day. Traditionally some Asian communities did not marry someone from their own village or town  and the arrival of the bride groom on the wedding day to the bride's village and his entry into the village for the first time is marked as a celebrated event in the wedding.

The initial ceremony in preparation for the wedding started after the family members from both the bride and the groom had arrived and taken residence in the resort. The kick off of the the wedding ceremony started with a Hindu priest conducting an elaborate religious ritual reciting religious hymns similar to those sung during the traditional Hindu weddings. The priests had both the bride groom and bride with their respective parents sit on either side of him on an elevated platform and the relative’s friends and acquaintances in the audience watching the preparation ceremony for nearly two hours. The priest then had the two family members perform many ritualistic practices according to detailed instructions given to them. Observing such ceremonies could be very tiring for ordinary people who have not seen or endured such lengthy religious services. The priest was requesting the audience repeatedly for silence and no communication with one another while they watch the religious ritual that he performed on the bridegroom and bride and their respective parents.

Subsequent to the religious ritual which lasted a few hours there was a break for dinner. The loud music and the dancing of those who were comfortable dancing prevented others from talking to each other. The dancing was reminiscent of the tribal dancing of some communities in an attempt to get to know one another. The dancing went on right into midnight until most of the participants were tired and wanted go to bed in preparation for the flowing days activities.

The second days activities started at 11:00 am., after a light breakfast served.  Following the breakfast an elaborate religious ritual began with two assistants who helped the wedding priest to conduct a series of ritualistic practices; the two assistants helped the brides and bridegrooms parties to perform the actions involved in each part of the ritual helping them to do the minutest details as dictated by the wedding priest. The rituals reminded the author of the religious ceremonies performed by the priests of the popular Hindu temples in South India. At one O’clock there was a break for lunch and the family members, relatives, acquaintances and friends who have increased in numbers gathered at 6:00 pm for another religious ritual that went on for a more than an hour following which dinner was served in cafeteria style and the dance and loud music continued into midnight.

The Wedding Ceremony:

The wedding ceremony that started at 10:00 am on the third day was the most spectacular. The arrival of the groom with his friends and family according to the traditional way it is done back in the country of these folks was imitated in this ceremony. The horse chariot in which the bride groom is supposed to come to the village gate of the bride’s family was dramatized very well in the western world in front of a large spacious building complex in the holiday resort that enabled the gathering of more than 500 people. The bride’s family was waiting for the arrival of the bridegroom and his family who came dancing according to a loud drum beat. The family kept dancing for at least 30 minutes circling in front of the building where a large number of members from both families had gathered to see the arrival of the bridegroom. The large horse chariot driven by an unusually large white horse made the appearance of the bridegroom "at the bride’s village gate” spectacular. More than 10 professional photographers were taking photos as well as videos from every angle of this event as it took place.

The above event was a distant remnant of a practice in primitive Asian cultures where a mock fight was staged by the rightful person to marry the bride – the first cousin (the bride’s mother’s brother's son). This is imitated in a mock sword fight in some primitive Polynesian cultures even today according to sociologists.  

After the arrival of the bridegroom several traditional ceremonies were held, namely Genesh Puja (worship of the Lord Ganesh), Madhuparka (Honey-sweet), Kanys Agamana (arrival of the bride), Kanya daan (giving of the bride), Jai Mala (exchanging of garlands), Mangal Pheras (circling of the fire), Satapadi (seven steps), Mangalsutra, Sindoor Daan & Ring Exchange, Kanssar Bhakshan (first meal together), Akhand Saubhagyavati (blessings), Shubh Ashirwaad (married couple seeking the blessings of their elders).

This process took more than 90 minutes in front of the gathered crowd of about 400 - 500 family relatives, acquaintances and friends of both family members. After the wedding ceremony that concluded with the marriage of the bride and the groom, a grand lunch was served in cafeteria style.

In the evening the crowd gathered once again for the last time for a reception of the bride and groom. On this occasion another elaborate ceremony took place for nearly 2 and a half hours followed by a formal dinner. After the religious part of the reception ceremony was over and before dinner there were about 13 speeches made by the wedding priest, bride’s parents, close relatives, bride grooms brother and the master and mistress of the ceremony.

Analysis and Some Concluding Thoughts:

The author has participated in several formal wedding during his life time. These varied from very traditional weddings back in Asia, to those in London U.K., and in America. They also range from Church weddings that mostly take one morning or afternoon on a Saturday, to Hindu, Muslim, and Buddhist weddings that take mostly one entire day. Some Hindu weddings started as early as 4:30 am and went on during a good part of the day in a Hindu temple and later in a spacious hall where every person who attended the wedding participated in a meal together.

Traditionally, giving a grand feast after a wedding has been practiced in most cultures. In primitive cultures, the bride’s family members and the groom's family members sit around the same table and eat a meal together, sometimes passing the same banana to be eaten by every member around the table. This is one way in which that the newly acquainted members of two families bond together by sharing the same meal. The meal time gives them the opportunity to tease one another in a friendly way so that they could get to know them and bond as one family. The tension between the strangers who bond together is relieved by "a joking relationship" that they establish during their first encounter in such a way. The dancing of all the members together help greatly in reducing the tension among the participating members of such large numbers who are supposed to be bonded by the marriage relationship.

It may be observed that in Asian immigrants weddings in the developed world, there are some ingredients that are absent from the traditional weddings. First, the brides and grooms are not total strangers as in the case of the communities they represent back at home. In most cases, the parent’s come to a compromise with their adult children allowing them to find their own marriage partners while they are in college or at work. Their children in turn try as much as possible to honor the wish of the parents. However, such compromises might not fulfill all the expectations of the parents 100%  in case of love marriages between young men and women.

Second, some of the traditional rituals performed in such weddings are not only irrelevant but make no sense in the changed times and circumstances of the life of the young people who grew up in the developed world. For instance, virtual recreation of  the bridegroom's arrival at the bride’s village gate and the ceremony performed to signify that event. Many other such rituals performed during the wedding unless the young men and women going through those weddings are staunch believers and devotees of their religion make very little sense except for the formal way it is done in the presence of most of the family members, relatives and friends. However, unlike the usual marriages that take place mostly in the developed world between people, the bonds established by these traditional marriages appear to be apparently stronger.

Third, the parents do want to ensure that the marriage of their young sons  and daughters taken place in the developed world where one in three marriages fail and end up in divorce, to be stable for a life time as in the case of most traditional marriages in the Asian countries, although it is changing nowadays. A grand wedding with all the religious embellishments recreating the traditional setting in the minds of the marriage partners and all the family members is one way they could at least hope that the youngsters getting married will not end up in the divorce court.

The presence of such a large number of people who have taken the trouble to spend three four days in participating in such weddings and in some cases traveled thousands of miles from distant countries is evidence of the strong family relations that exist in both the bride and bridegrooms family circles. Lastly, even though dowry is not strictly practiced as a custom by the immigrant Asians in the developed part of the world, the enormous expenses involving large sums of money towards such glamorous weddings, is similar to dowry money spend by both sides of the family depending on the accumulated wealth of the two families that are united by such marriages.

In conclusion, glamorous  marriage ceremonies given by the Asian immigrant parents to  their marriageable children is one way in which they try to compromise with them to adhere to the same family values that they brought along with them when they came to the developed part of the world. By celebrating the marriages of their children in a very lavish way by spending enormous amount of money these parents undoubtedly hope that the marriage bonds established by such religious ceremonies in the presence of all their family, relatives, acquaintances and friends would be continued by their progeny. One person who participated in this wedding ceremony related and interesting conversation a father had with his daughter about her upcoming wedding. The father apparently gave the young woman the choice between a grandiose wedding costing several hundreds of thousands of dollars or a comfortable house of her choice to buy. The young woman apparently said :"daddy I want both." This anecdote seems a good ending for this article too.

My Own Sayings of 2011: Author Jay Hettiarachchy

1. Any means would justify some end that may by no means be just
2. Means to an end should not be an end in itself
3. Don’t bullshit others, and don’t allow others to bullshit you either
4. Past is the best predictor of the future
5. Death saddens the living not the dead
6. If you fall in love with a monkey be prepared to climb and live on a tree
7. You could motivate yourself "in spite" of those who de-motivate you
8. People tend to lose their most valuable possessions when when they need them most
9. If you never had it will you ever miss it?
10. People seem to like asynchronous relationships. It used to be TSR (Terminate and Stay Resident) in the olden days
11. Knowledge and character are not only mutually exclusive but could also be far apart
12. It is better to be a scarecrow than a farmer
13. Disaster does not have to strike to bring out the goodness of people
14. It is not as much the message as how it is communicated that is important to the recipient
15. Parents, by the time you learn by experimenting with your children they are out of your life
16. How prudent is prudent? Only the prudent will tell you, if you ask
17. What people don't say, say a lot more than what they say
18. A truly happy family is a family undivided in spite of all the divisive forces that breed divided families today
19. A journey of thousand miles is a piece of cake for me if cops leave me alone on the highway
20. Talkers do not do, doers do not talk
21. Not doing anything could be a perfectly viable option in certain situations
22. In your job or whatever you do for a living, try to save your life first and then try to save the life of others
23. If you own a body it is your responsibility to learn about the functioning of your body. If you own a mind it is your responsibility to learn about the functioning of your mind. This is because no one else will ever care for your body or mind as much as you do.
24. Virtue is real, virtual is not
25. These days young people need estate planning more than the old people. This is because the young people do not want to inherit old people’s liabilities.
26. Sin is a sin whether it is committed knowingly, unknowingly or in defiance
27. Living your life is a better alternative than dying (working) to live 　
28. Greater good undermines individual good
29. Memories hurt; if they are good ones, they are just memories. If they are bad ones, they don't go away
30. Being realistic is not the same as being negative or pessimistic, realistically
31. Turn up the volume of silence in your mind. You will be amazed what that sound could do to you in this world of solipsists
32. "Best of Both Worlds", is truly a graceful place to be. I live it and love every minute of it
33. Changing a system from within is far easier than trying to change it from outside
34. Saying is one thing and doing is another
35. Where the people are warm, they have hot tea
36. It is easier to trick puppy dogs than the old dogs
37. A roller coaster life of emotional highs and lows, could make one puke
38. You may look as much as you want, but not see
39. Attraction and/or distraction is a function of one's age
40. Some are good at laying and others at dropping bricks
41. Some prophets are not only not honored but even insulted in their own lands
42. When you are a wage earner, you need to keep your tail between your legs or wag your tail and run behind your master
43. It is easy to fight with yourself than with others
44. Usefulness is relative to what we do at certain stages of our life. What may have been very useful to us 25 years ago will be utterly useless now
45. Knowing your friends is one thing; knowing your friends from enemies is another
46. Can't cross the bridge if it is not there
47. It is not over until the fat woman has eaten
48. You can have the cake and eat the cake too if you could bake the cake
49. If you don't have a heart then you can't be a heart patient
50. Families grow together apart
51. You are responsible for others as well as for yourself
52. Loving is not similar to a casual exchange of a smile between two people
53. Cross the bridge when the other side of the bridge is safe
54. Problem people are very good at creating problems for themselves and for others, when they don't have problems they are clever at creating them
55. Worrying about tomorrow will not only kill tomorrow but today as well
56. Family once extended turns nuclear
57. Nothing in this world in our lives is never forgotten
58. Letting go with kids is a fact of life with kids
59. If you think your friends laugh at you behind your back and if they do, you don't have any friends
60. Unfortunately, most animals cannot think like humans, yet some humans act like animals
61. The more technology you own the less human you are
62. Surprises are what they are supposed to be 　
63. It is more noble to find the root causes of bad behavior of humans and publish than to simply complain about it
64. Judge me not, the wise man said
65. One man's productivity is another man's garbage
66. It matters when we exercise our minds over matter
67. Rock is a hard place to live
68. Artificial Intelligence is humanly impossible because it is not only a contradiction but a no brainer
69. Intelligence and general knowledge are not the same as intelligent people would recognize
70. All talk and no action make everyone unhappy
71. A hungry man should find a woman who could cook well
72. If only they could talk, every dog will have its say
73. Homes have to be built, not bought and sold
74. Dead men could not talk as they lie
75. Sky is the limit, if sky is real
76. Power when turned off, is powerless to corrupt the world absolutely
77. What is good for the gander is the goose
78. Confused people confuse people
79. If you can fix it don't buy it
80. A gift is something given and not asked for
81. We learn more from our failures than from our successes
82. Choosing not to do something, could be the best choice that fits certain circumstances
83. The law of the vital few increases the number of those who lean on their shovel
84. Slaves have no family, they have masters
85. True love between human beings is not the same as love making or deal making
86. It is far better to amuse yourself than trying to amuse those who are un-amusable
87. The aches of the human heart commonly referred to as angina by medical community, are far more complicated to be heard by any stethoscope invented by the humans so far.
88. How will you eat an elephant? Keep It Stupid Simple (KISS). One byte at a time
89. Humans cannot manipulate time although they could manage or mismanage their time
90. Dysfunction is another variant function
91. Knowing when and where to draw the line is as important as drawing the line
92. The impact of hidden truth could be worse than that of a lie
93. Letting go with kids is a fact of life when kids become college kids
94. Joy comes from sharing rather than embracing
95. A short embrace feels good, so long as it is not a deadly embrace 　
96. Looking out for your physical and mental health is your business because no one else could do it for you
97. Changing the pillow would not only make the headache not to go away, but could make it worse
98. Dead people do not hear all the nice things people say about them; the best thing is to tell those things before they poof
99. What we don’t know could hurt us as much as what we know
100. Jealousy is the cause of success as well as failure of people

MyOwnSayingsOf-2010

1.    If you can't stand the heat, fight for your equal right to cook

2.    There are no winners in the game of life when everyone is a loser in the long run

3.    Do not do things now and repent later, because now never comes back but later does

4.    Lucky are those men whose heads don't spin

5.    The best plan is to have Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C to deal with all possible seemingly real situations in an unreal life

6.    In any profession or craft, the craftsmen will forge you to be one of them; if you don't they will crucify you

7.    For some people what they don't have is the only thing they have

8.    Arguments on "which is the dumbest generation" depends on which generation the contestants belong to

9.    An apple tree doesn't have to pretend to be an orange tree. It does not have to keep yelling "I am an apple tree" either.

10. Do not ask the thief's mother where the thief is hiding, because she might tell you where he is

11. Problems caused by time, will be resolved by time over time

12. So much communication constipation pervading through cultural and national borders

13. Social networks are no substitute for true relationships

14. If you don’t feel sorry for yourself who will?

15. Those who live to eat love to eat

16. Slow and steady make a good couple

17. Some bulls carry their china shop along with them

18. A stitch in time calls for a time machine

19. Misery is an integral part of being human. Those who have no choice in the matter learn to enjoy misery. This I find paradoxical

20. Rock the boats while they are there, because you cannot rock them when they are not there

21. Students, you will get the fishing rod from me. I will do no fishing for you. Because I am the teacher and you are the student

22. There are no real winners or real losers in an unreal and unrealistic world

23. Poor people give poor financial advice. They still make their commission for their stupid advice

24. Leave the mountains alone, they can take care of themselves

25. The world is neither round nor flat, it is as dumb as a dumb bell

26. Nature will bend humans who probably think they could bend the nature

27. In this world most good things to people have happened accidentally, like family happened to you

28. It is only as long as you are mentally and physically healthy sound and strong, you could help those who are mentally and physically unhealthy unsound and weak

29. Only a fool would call a fool a fool, because not even a fool would like to be called a fool

30. There is a real difference between "real friends" and "work-place friends". Work-place friends love your work, real friends love you. A combination is really rare

31. What you do not see does not exist for you

32. Relatives are "relative", not absolutes

33. What you don't know will hurt you more than you know

34. Its not the clothes that maketh a [wo] man, but it’s the [wo]man that maketh the clothes

35. Lucky is the wo)man who does not have to work for a living

36. No one can hurt you, but yourself

37. Time and Tide waits for the other person to come

38. As you saw, so have I seen too

39. Once bitten, no longer shy

40. Nowadays a stitch in time is a very uncool thing to do

41. Time wastes everyone of us

42. Artificial Intelligence is not only robbing us of our intelligence but also our money and identity and will leave us crying in the middle of the superhighway in future

43. Students be the cookie cutter, not the cookie

44. Mortals lose their mind well before they lose their flesh.

45. Hey, make hay and go on the "hay ride" of life while the sun is shining

46. When most of us were in graduate school we did not have money to buy pizza, but when we have all the money later in life, we cannot eat pizza

47. Do not make others' problems your's, most people do

48. Even the man who was hanged had the satisfaction of knowing that without him there wouldn't have been a hanging ceremony

49. Holding hands calls for another hand

50. Waking up those who are already awake could be an awakening

51. World won't stop if you do, sadly some think it would

52. The truth is real and is far from truth

53. Be careful, there are liars, outliers and outright liars in this world

54. All work and all play will make Jack a wokn'playholic

55. Only those who do not know the question should beg the question

56. Isn't it so strange that we value those things most that we know we cannot ever possess in life?

57. Small towns never grow when big cities overgrow

58. "Problem people" give you nothing but problems

59. What is good for the gander is the goose

60. It is far easier to appreciate a person in good times than in bad times in the dumps

61. Birds of a feather too peck one another

62. Happiness flows from inside to outside, not in the other way around

63. If you do not know ask, if you know tell

64. Flattery sometimes can take you somewhere

65. Often has a girl been a punching bag for a boy

66. Often has a boy cut a rod to beat his parents

67. Time wastes us, not we the time

68. There are no floppy disks today, just floppy people

69. There is no easy way to learning, learning is the way

70. Ignore what they say, but carefully watch what they do

71. Those who live in caves, die in caves

72. Silence was golden during the gold rush

73. Nobody but you will have to live with yourself

74. Death may be a public affair, but dying is definitely personal and private

75. As a man(or woman) stincketh so is s/he

76. Those who live in glass houses should look nice

77. A bird in your hand is no longer a free bird

78. Power when turned off, is powerless to corrupt the world absolutely

79. Sky is the limit, if sky is real

80. If you have a cake, you can eat it

81. If you want to be happy in bed, do not lie on it.

82. Christmas comes, but leaves every year

83. Curiosity does not kill the mouse

84. If you can’t lick them, spit on them

85. If only they could talk, every dog will have its say

86. Dead men could not talk as they lie

87. A hungry man should find a woman who could cook well

88. Where there is no will probate lawyers will have a field day

89. A friend in need should not be deserted

90. Time and tide wait for the other man

91. Guarding one’s mouth is much harder than guarding the border of a country

92. Homes have to be built, not bought and sold

93. A hungry woman should find a strong man who could satisfy her needs

94. All talk and no action make everyone unhapp

95. Intelligence and general knowledge are not the same as intelligent people would recognize

96. Artificial Intelligence is humanly impossible because it is not only a contradiction but a no brainer

97. You may be dead silent, but I hear you loud enough

98. Stinginess is a form of ugliness of the mind

99. Big fish will always eat small fish, but no one will want to eat dead fish

100.Don't hate me because I am beautiful, go get a facelift